Mental health has been something I've been trying to be more cognizant of recently.
Last month, on October 1st at 8:30pm, I tried to take my life. I took half a bottle of ibuprofen, about 200-300 pills at 200mg each. My mother found me unconscious on the floor of my condo shortly after I had passed out. I ended up being in an ICU for 6 days and then committed to an adult psych ward afterwards for 5 more days. I was released on October 12th.
I don't have a history of depression or suicidal thoughts. I don't have a history of mental illness in general. My attempt came from a sudden feeling of hopelessness and a sense of a loss of control in my life that all hit me in the span of a week from events outside of my control. I'm still dealing with the loss of control in my life, and will be for the foreseeable future due to extenuating circumstances. In the meantime I'm on paid administrative leave while things are being sorted out, and I've been given the opportunity to work full-time on my project.
I'm writing this because I never thought I would have the capability to go through with the actions I took one month ago. Mental health is important, taking care of yourself is important. Whether it's burnout, depression, facing difficult life circumstances, anything -- please take care of yourself. There's a lot of shame and stigma when it comes to publicly discussing the mental illnesses people struggle with internally, and it shouldn't have to be that way.
This is a talk I watched earlier tonight, it's by Greg Baugues on being a developer dealing with depression and other mental illnesses. Greg goes into his experience dealing with type II bi-polar and ADD, his journey to being diagnosed, the medications he takes, and the people that support him. I recommend it if you're struggling too.